Should I post this or should i not?

i think i failed again, failed to face criticism and to be strong. Why am i so upset? why is this even bothering me? it doesn't matter. As long as i feel it potrays who i really am. Why should i care what other things? this is me, its me!!

i wish i could get a grip. Be strong and not let emotions cloud me as i often do and yet, no matter how much i try, no matter how hard i try, in the end, i still fail to do so.

there were so many things i wanted to hear, maybe a word of praise? if not, then maybe just a small piece of encouragement? or even just an acknowledgement? i know i asked for it, pushed people to let me know their thoughts. I deserved it. I'm so like a child, wanting praise, ever looking for compliment. But is that wrong? I really did try.

Last night i stayed awake til 2am finding the way to make it at least better than it was. In the end i found it and i thought, "wait till they see it tomorrow. they'd surely be surprised". hehe.. but then to my greatest disappointment nobody thought it was great. no one even thought it looked nice.. no one.. not a single one.. everyone didn't like it or thought it was even worth a single compliment. I tried, i really did. But does anyone understand this? hack!! why am i so upset?? it doesn't make sense.

I know i'm not good at this and i just started learning how to use this and therefore i'm nothing compare to others. But it still hurts. It bloody hurts!! why?? is it because i wanted to hear praises? or is it because i thought those i shared with would appreciate it?

I guess I just feel like i'm not being appreciated. I gotta grow up!! i really got to!!! A long long time ago during the LSS i wished to God for the gift of patience i guess i got what i wanted already. But when i talked to my family about it, i noticed they all wished for the gift of wisdom, knowledge, love and so forth. Is my wish dumb or too naive? If i could turn back time, should i wish for the gift of knowledge? or should i wish for the gift of being stronger?

I know my previous paragraph suddenly shot out of no where and doesn't really make any sense but, well, I'm sorry. >.< This post helped me feel better though. ^^