I'm almost to my limit.. I don't know how much more can I take.. Every time I come to realise how dangerous it is and want to back off, I hang in there, in hopes that my future would be brighter, if I could just hang on another 6 months.. But what is there to this achievement? To getting a little known, for my work, if I might not be there to actually make use of it?
I don't want my health to be affected.. I would rather live a simple and happy life.. Yet I can't stand the thought of throwing my future away.. Of giving up a might have been opportunity.. On the other hand, I don't want it to affect my health.. I don't want to cause more harm to myself than I've already done.. Every time I find out something I did in the pass contributed to the detrimental effect of my health, I feel so low after that..
God, why is everything so hard? I want to give up but I can't.. I want to hold on.. And yet, I can't!!!
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