At 3.30 pm, my heart began racing as I sat 4 rows behind her listening to the presenter in front stating his case. All my mind could think about was "How am I going to get through this? How am I going to say it? What will her reaction be? Will she accept it? Or will she not? Is this the right decision?
At 4.10 pm, the presenter concluded his speech and ask the floor if we had any questions. My heart skipped a beat. The whole hall was quite. I could hear my boss saying, " I've already asked all I wanted to know during the presentation, do you guys have anything to ask?"
Silence..
I could hear an inner voice in my head screaming, "somebody, please ask a question, somebody, please! Or maybe, I could ask a question. Yes, I could do that. What should I ask? What should I ask? Think!!"
Prof raised his voice to ask the first question. The hall begin talking again. Hush discussion around the hall. My heart went back to its own place.
At 4.20 pm, the presenter said, "that's all. Thank you for listening". That strike the time for me to get myself to do what I've been trying to do all day. As I stood up, she stood. Even more quickly than I could possibly do so, what with all the fear and uncertainty I had in me.
She walked passed me, right out the door. My legs begin automatically chasing after her. Before I was thoroughly out the door, I saw her entering another one. I tried to drag my body to move faster.
As I close in, I saw another colleague joined her. I thought, "I blew my chance. Have to deal with this with an audience now". I went back to my seat, stared at my bulky laptop, deep in thoughts. How should I get her to be alone and tell her?
At 4.48pm, I took my bulky laptop, dragged myself up and head towards her. We discussed for a while about some analysed results and then I pop the statement. To my utter amazement, she didn't slap me or take a knife and chase after me. Instead, she listened to my explanation, with a smile and an understanding look.
I finally handed it in. Done what I thought I would not have the guts to do. I handed in my resignation letter. And to my amazement, it was rather anti-climatic.
I don't know if my decision is right or is it wrong. I just know that right now, I'm at the fork between two roads to my future. My decision have made me progress to one of the futures. I do not know what would the other future be, but I guess, that will remain as the road not taken, exactly how the poem wrote it.
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
Robert Frost (1874–1963). Mountain Interval. 192
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