Goodbye Grandpa...

Life is such a fragile thing, you'll never know when will be the last breath u take, when will be the last time u see your loved ones or when would be the last thing you've said.

Today, my grandpa passed away. He complained that he had chest pain at approximately 4pm. Unfortunately, attention wasn't given to him until about 8 when he couldn't take it anymore and was sent to the hospital by my dad after he finished work.

I didn't know what happen until 12 someting when my dad finally returned home only to tell us that my grandpa had a heart attack and that he had no pulse and was basically using a machine to help him breath.

At about 1.30am, my dad left the house again to head for the hospital, not telling me what happened, I believe partly because he was worried it would affect my current state to study for my finals. All he said was that mummy told my brother and sister not to go to school tomorrow and he was going out now.

I didn't know what to think or do. I prayed hard that night. So hard.. Praying to God that He'd give my grandpa the strength to open his eyes, to wake up and be strong again.

Next morning, I realise my prayers were not anwsered. I was told to immediately clean up the house for the funeral to take place. I cried that day while I was cleaning, not because I had no more time to study, not because I had to do housework, but because I didn't get to say goodbye, because I didn't get to see him one last time, because I never got a chance to call him again and because I didn't fulfill my promise to take him to a park for a walk.

Last year, my grandma passed away, again during my exam time. This time, it happened again. This reminded me of the lyrics of a song "Collin Raye - If You Get There Before I Do Lyrics"
Its about his grandmather that passed away and what h's grandfather had to share.

I read a note my grandma wrote back in 1923

Grandpa kept it in his coat and he showed it once to me

He said boy you might not understand

But a long, long time ago

Grandma's daddy didn't like me none

But I love your grandma so
We had this crazy plan to meet

And run away together

Get married in the first town we came to and live forever

But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead

I found this letterAnd this is what it said
If you get there before I do

Don't give up on me

I'll meet you when my chores are through

I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down

Darling wait and see

And between now and then til I see you again

I'll be loving you, love me

I read those words just hours before my grandma past away

In the door way of a church

Where me and grandpa stopped to pray

I know I'd never seen him cry in all my 15 years

But as he said these words to herHis eyes filled up with tears
If you get there before I do

Don't give up on me

I'll meet you when my chores are through

I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down

Darling wait and seeAnd between now and then til I see you again

I'll be loving you, love me

Between now and then til I see you again

I'll be loving you, love me

I remembered how sad my grandpa was when grandma died, remembered how much he wanted to go to the funeral but his body just wouldn't allow so and also remembered the sense of lost for the voice when he spoked. At least, now I know that he is with her again.

God, if its Your will, I accept all these. I believe that if You brought me to this, You'd bring me through it.

Grandpa, I'll miss you. And sorry I didn't get to say goodbye and see you one last time. And most of all, sorry for that walk in the park we never had.